A drive by results in a day spent with kids...

Mary's nephew is now deceased due to some type of gang related drive by in Virginia. Once the body got back to Griffin (two weeks ago) the funeral was today. Okay, two weeks is an exaggeration. Since she is never out of work, I obliged her the opportunity to fellowship and attend the procession. I came home at 12:00. Okay, 12:45 because I had a much needed waxing on my eyebrows and lip. This lip requires waxing about every 6 months. It was at that point. Lillee Grace, Baxter and myself went to Lowe's. No wonder home improvement stores are appealing to stay-at-home moms. We saw at least 6 different construction crew builder people!!! I assured all the Carhart wearing men I was just the nanny! We stopped and bought some ribbon so that I may attempt to sew LG some curtains. I did not begin that process today. Instead, I lived it up. I sat in the big chair, ate spaghetti for lunch and watched A Baby Story. I am now recommending water births to all mothers. You can birth a baby in the bathtub while your older child sits eating their Clif Bar, your doula scrubs in and your husband sits knitting a sweater out of organic cotton. It was nice being at home with the corn children today though. Bax still has a yucky cough so we're watching that.
Dropped LG off at dance and got a phone call that my third child was at home with his eyes dilated and couldn't hardly see the numbers on his phone to call. I came home and got the crying infant and belted him in so he could ride with me to stalk the neighborhoods around us to see what types of plants and pots they have outside their homes. Our agent wants us to "spruce" things up a bit. Well, I'm trying to figure out what to get so we've been doing some drive-bys of our own to see what other people are "sprucing" up their porches with. I'd say we better start by removing some of our redneck riviera plastic sandbox and kitchen toys from the yard.
In the car on the way home from dance: "Mommy, let's go get something to eat." "We're going to go home and eat, Lillee Grace." "Hey mommy, how about we go get some mexican." A very adult conversation!
Got the family fed and off I went to Pilates. New question: How is a 8 month pregnant person able to bend herself in positions I couldn't think of doing. We must have done 100 lunges and squats. There's no better way to cap off an evening than with a trip to your local Wal-Mart. Scott usually stays home and keeps a running tally of how many infants are out at 10:00 at night. Stocked up on SuperBowl items.

Not a typical Key family photo

Saturday morning while a cleaning crew pressure washed with Chlorox and ridded our home from the germs we had spread all week, we took a trip to Macon. It was a nice change from the Wal-Mart in Griffin. Isn't it funny how a trip somewhere turns into something like a four-tire change and pit stop at a Nascar race. Stopped at a children's shop - Scott sat reading the AJC while I shopped. Then, one child (LG) was added to my side while BSK slept away. Then the whole family shopped in the store together while LG tried on shoes. BSK pooped. Now it's back to just me and LG while Scott changed BSK in car. At Target, Scott drops LG and me off at the front while he and BSK go to Starbuck's and circle the parking lot. So what starts out as a family outing is always chopped up into who's going in where and which child are you taking?
Our last stop, Bass Pro Shops, was quite the experience. To all who are questioning why the Key family would be stopping at a place like this is slowly wearing thin on Scott's nerves. Every time my cell rang yesterday and I told the person we were in Macon to buy camping equipment, they said for whom? Scott believes he's truly been profiled incorrectly. So he doesn't know how to change a lightbulb or airfilter in our house, but he does think he knows which bug repellant works best for the outdoors. Truth be told, Lillee Grace's school is having an auction and her class is in charge of buying camping related items. Hence, the photo shows the family in the middle of the RealTree department. I explained to LG all about the decoys in the ceiling and the different types of ducks and blinds. When I started talking about the waders and calls, Scott felt as though my Jesup roots were really shining through. Time to go. BSK was fascinated with the boats outside so I had to give our family the low-down of the types as well as trolling motors. So I've seen a lot of Hank Parker and Bill Dance in my day - go figure.
Both kids are still really puny. Lillee Grace had two requests for food - ice cream and popcorn. We obliged both requests due to the fact she wouldn't eat anything. Baxter is so snotty but not one bit of his appetite is gone. They are both lying around watching TV. Friday and Saturday there was not much sleeping. A Dora slipper got some poop on it at 1 a.m. Friday night so we were washing clothes in the middle of the night. Sat. night LG coughed so much I gave her cough medicine via an IV drip and we slept in the big chair until 9:30 this a.m. Pretty quiet Sun. Scott represented the fam at church so Bax and I put on our sweats, LG in her dancing dress and we're all just kicking back.
This Sunday's country supper wasn't so country. I fixed the best spaghetti with meatballs you've ever had! Of course, LG had vanilla ice cream from McDonald's served by Tanisha herself. Scott commented about the jazz song "A Night in Tunisia" being a little more upbeat than the way our cup of ice cream was handed over. We drove around for a couple of hours looking at houses. Now, when you ask LG what she wants for her birthday, she will reply, "I need a new house." I think she and BSK watched Hello Kitty 17 times in the backseat. We've really had a battle of wills tonight while trying to drag that dancing dress off of her. She just loves it!

A Night of Filing & Picture Walks

Not much to report. I have heard more feedback in the past few days so knowing that others are actually reading what I'm typing gives me a will to go on living (okay, and blogging.) Scott co-oped at the school this a.m. He said when he arrived, Mrs. Nancy had to get the kids from the carpool line so he stayed in the room with the others. He told about how it was a scene out of Kindergarten Cop and he had ten little eyes just staring at him. Mr. Mom said he looked at them and said, "It's not a tuma." Overall it went well. I think LG was well behaved which isn't a regular occurrence when her parents are in attendance. This afternoon was pretty uneventful. LG wore yet another trailer dress (Bethany's old dance costume) to Bo's house this afternoon. Both kids have snot dripping so we could be in for an all-nighter. My illness must have spread.
Since Scott has taken over the the bills, they seem to keep growing in the canvas bin I recommended he put them in to prepare for filing. Well, I just finished filing comcast bills from August '06. He did give a word of appreciation for the paper cuts on my fingers since that was a job he "really detested." While I've been filing, we've been fiddling with my iTunes as well. Scott was a little puzzled as to why I have Pussycat Dolls "Buttons" along with Amazing Grace. Seems like an odd combo. I enjoy a little variety in my life!
Since this is somewhat of a dull post, I am sending a link to Amy's blog. She has a great Top 10 List! Makes me want to visit Flynt River tomorrow. I'm on to my usual Friday night activity. When the USPS is on top of things, I receive my People magazine on Friday afternoon. The driver really does get the evil eye if I see a pile of white envelopes and nothing else. When all is calm and at rest, I position myself under a lamp in the den and do a picture walk in my gossip and entertainment journal. One of the most effective methods in teaching reading is to first have your readers take a picture walk! So I did learn something from Armstrong Atlantic!!

Back Among the Living

So I'm still alive. After staying home yesterday, I think I'm cured. While I was buckling Lillee Grace into Joy's van to go to preschool, Mary was in the house boiling a pot of liquor. I do mean Maker's Mark, a vat of honey and a squirt or two of lemon juice. We poured say 10 oz. into a large coffee mug and she said to drink it fast. Ten minutes later, I saw four Martha Stewarts on tv. A couple of hours later, I emerged from the bed a new woman. It was noon and Scott was already home. Cracker Barrel must have been on his way back from the Reidsville penitentiary because he came home with fried chicken, fried okra, mac -n- cheese and a big ol' plate of chicken and dumplings for me. So here we sat: Scott, Mary, me and Baxter enjoying our lunch on a Wednesday. I swear this family gets stranger by the hour. LG was supposed to come home at 2 so at 2:30 I became a little concerned. Turns out, her driver had an allergic reaction to some nuts and was unable to pick them up. Now I'm feeling like an all-star parent. I'm sitting at home sipping hot totties while my child needs a ride home. Lucky for all involved, LG's driver is the best and everyone turned out okay. Scott took Baxter to the doctor at 4:00 and I took Lillee Grace and Bethany to Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart at 5 in the afternoon is never a good idea. It's the selection I always crave; something our local price gouger can never compete with. At 6:00, it was the weekly ritual of going to the feed trough. By the way, Fire Mountain's name has changed to Ryans. However, you don't tell a three-year-old with OCD this 411. There would just be way too much unnecessary discussion. A new dad and little girl joined the circuit last night. God bless them and their arteries.

Speaking of arteries, my dad underwent a MRI of his brain this a.m. as well as an ultrasound of his carotid artery. Wow - when my mom told me that my dad had somewhat of a stroke I was shocked and very upset. I kept it together and was able to mask my feelings because of my wretched voice I already had. Then I spoke to my dad and found out the tests he was about to undergo. My phone beeped and it was Amy. Thank goodness her head is screwed on as loosely as mine because I did have a little hysterical moment. I swear one day they'll make a Desperate Housewives series about us. She always seems to call and be there at the right time and I love her for that. We should find out more tomorrow afternoon.

My pics are of the children this afternoon. It was nice coming home knowing we didn't have too much to do. However, when I left home at 7:30 this a.m. LG was wearing this satin nylony nightgown AKA "trailer dress." Well, when I got home at 4:30 this afternoon, this seems to be what she was still wearing. It got cuter when she put on the red Elmo sunglasses but I was without camera for that shot. After taking Mary home, I was getting supper ready when I realized Baxter was too quiet. I found him here, under the dining room table. Despite what the picture may say, he was happy as a lark. LG and I made a box of Valentine's cookies for her class tomorrow. Scott is co-oping so that should make for a very interesting dialogue tomorrow night. As long as Nancy, LG's teacher, draws crayola diagrams of where Scott should sit and what he should do, things should go smoothly.

Cure for the Common Cold: Hippie Night with a Theraflu Chaser - A GUEST BLOG

Hello everyone! This Scott, your guest blogger for the evening. Jenn is out with bubonic plague. Jenn is wrapped up in three layers of blankets holding onto the remains of some hot tea, and watching the State of the Union as the Theraflu fog descends over her eyes. Since I have no way to justify the use of over-the-counter narcotics to get through the speech, I have decided to go ahead with the guest blog. As Bush just said (I can hear the tv in the backgound), "we've got to show each other some love."
If the plague continues to afflict the house tomorrow night, it may be time to bring out the big guns. My friend, Ricky, has the ultimate treatment for cold and flu. It may well be the cure for the common cold. His recipe: two cups of Jack Daniels heated and mixed with Theraflu, a little elixir he calls, "Jack da Flu."
To celebrate the winter of love, with all the OTC narcotics being used here, Lillee Grace and I decided it was time for Woodstock night. So we dressed up in our best hippie garb and had Baxter snap a picture of us. I hope you enjoy it. Until tomorrow when Jenn returns or when I return to give you pictures of tomorrow's theme night to cheer up mom, stay warm.

A Face Only a Mother Could Love

Scott chose to take Lillee Grace (in her Dora pajamas) with him to get Chinese take-out. What was he thinking? Leave someone who has overdosed on Airborne and Zicam all day to watch Baxter? It's tough duty when mom is sick. Another box of Puff's, hot and sour soup and a Vicks rub down from the mister, I'll be on the road to recovery. On a better note, LG is sleeping in her bed all night, thanks to one pink princess telephone. As long as the bribery continues to work, Big Lots will be in business.

Degree from the internet

We've just returned home from a luncheon at church. After church, we picked Mary up so she could watch the kids. She and Lillee Grace decided on a low-carb lunch from Louise's where their meal consisted of dressing and macaroni and cheese. After Scott and I spent some much needed alone time riding around looking at houses and drinking Diet Cokes, we headed back to the church. The new president of Mercer University was to speak and have a Q&A session. I was a little intimidated to be among such scholars and we sat with three ministers from the church. The tables, flowers and food were beautiful. Scott enjoyed being able to pontificate with the make up of this crowd. He truly was in his element.
There were lots of interesting conversations at our table. I commented at what smart company I was in. Seminary graduates were discussing their competing schools such as Emory, McAfee, Stetson, Southwestern, etc. when someone announced they went to Baylor. I remarked how I loved my George. Scott had to make his political views known by rescinding, "speaking of smart people." There was another couple discussing their fasting and how awe-inspiring and what a refreshing thing it is. Someone who overheard the conversation mistook them for speaking of colonics. Now I was in my element. Everyone was talking about the prestigious schools they went to and how their seminary differed from others. Bringing Scott down a notch, I turned to the person sitting to my left and said, "This is so nice; you can't get all this from a degree on the internet."